Calling All Shoppers!

Today I went back among society! I went to Walmart to get some groceries! How exciting!
After I got home I started thinking about the things I've seen at Walmart. I'll start with something my mom saw though.
My mom works at Walmart and late one night she saw a man ride through the store on a bicycle. Rode right past a front end manager. Mom said the manager should have felt a breeze the guy rode so close behind him but the manager was completely oblivious. No one even tried to stop the guy! Mom asked the manager if the guy had paid for the bike and he didn't know. Mom said "well he didn't ride in on it!". She had just walked out of her office when the guy rode by so there wasn't much she could do about it.
I saw....
a woman in The Simpson's pajama pants
a guy with his underwear sticking up over the back of his pants and they were
disgustingly discolored. Looked like he washed them in mud
a man with his hand, no make that his arm, from the elbow down shoved in the front
of his pants. I don't know what he was doing
a family where the males all had their heads shaved except for a little patch at the back of
their head which they let grow down the middle of their back.
a group of High School boys walking around in sun glasses and ear pieces, wearing blazers
looked like they were trying to look like secret service agents or something
three Asian boys from the university buying condoms and looking like they were
so embarrassed!
a "redneck" couple (no other way to describe them) not 10 ft. inside the front door,
pressed up against one another french kissing. It was gross! and inappropriate
another Asian University student, this one a girl, buying a card, wearing those shearling
boots and mini shorts (barely covered her tiny bottom) and it was below freezing!
a mother putting her infant in the back seat of her car while her toddler climbed from
the basket side of the cart into the infant carrier part! That just about gave me
a heart attack
Then I saw the same mother put the toddler in the front seat of the car, no car
seat and it was a car new enough to have air bags (I called the police from my
cell)
Naomi sitting in a cart smiling at me, then opened her mouth to laugh and had a Walmart
smiley face sticker stuck to her tongue perfectly positioned!
A child screaming bloody murder while their mother tried to pull a smile face sticker off
their tongue and not get bitten by the toddler's razor sharp teeth.